As you may or may not know, I do Biology and Chemistry (among others) to A2 level. I'm currently sitting at home, with a massive pack of questions on plant hormones and the kidneys and god knows what else, and I can't do them. I've been in the kidneys lessons, so I have no excuse there, and I've been underperforming according to my minimum grade (calculated from my GCSE results). I struggled to get a B in AS Bio, and a C in Chemistry. I've missed two Chemistry lessons. And I'm really really tired, I haven't been sleeping very well the last week. I do AS French, too, and very nearly did last year. Oh, how I regret not taking languages instead of sciences. I did sciences to do medicine, and I haven't got the grades to do that, and now I'm struggling to get into a decent uni for a course I want to do. If I get a C in Chem, which statistics dictate I am likely to do going by my AS grade, I won't get into anywhere I've got offers for. And that's looking increasingly likely.
The thing is, I'm getting really stressed over this - I don't want to be at college while all my peers and friends my own age are at uni. Yet if I don't get in, I will be, doing A2 French, and maybe struggling in a few things to A2 in a year. Like German. But most of the good unis would want three A2s, and I'm not sure I have enough subjects. I want to go to university - my mother didn't, and she regrets it - and I don't want to be a "mature student" either, but it's too late to change my courses now. And dropping out wouldn't do me any good. So what on earth do I do? I have no time machine to encourage myself 18 months ago to do languages instead, and be happy and unstressed. If I did languages, I think I could have made Oxbridge, where I'd always dreamed of going when I was little. However, with this set of A-level grades and the fact I won't be taking three subjects to A2 in one sitting means I haven't got a hope. Even though I've seen the entry tests for the course I'd want to do (French and Russian), and I think I'd do well at it, and the submissions of work and that.
"Don't give up on your dreams", people say. I wish.
Tuesday, 25 November 2008
Monday, 30 June 2008
Bird Gurhl - Antony And The Johnsons
Thursday, 13 March 2008
We are the few that won't say nothing right
We are the footsteps fading into the night
Nobody cares and nobody stares with such conviction
And I say
I never wanted this
No-one ever wanted this
Not entirely sure why, but those lyrics seem to sum me up right now.
I'm in one of the IT centres at college, I probably ought to do work at some point, but I'm blogging with Streetlight Manifesto on shuffle, and trying very very hard not to sing along; I don't want to get chucked out.
I'm feeling a lot happier than I have in a while, and definitely a lot happier than I did a week ago, on results day. I was sitting in this room (not at this computer, though) staring at my two B's, one C, and one E, fighting back the tears. I'm resitting two of the exams, one was so close to an A it doesn't really matter. And if I don't get As, I'm basically screwed.
Ah well, que sera sera.
Speaking of which, I have an information evening at some point to go to, to pick up French next year. Though I do know what I'm letting myself in for, I did learn the language for twelve bloody years...
There really is something I should probably be doing right now. Ah well. I'll look around aimlessly, and not let the depressing Kasabian that's just come on distract me. Ooh, there's traffic cones with bamboo sticks in over there, and bits of police tape (well, not quite, but the red and white striped equivalent) cordoning off about half this one of the IT centres for Media students. Which, might I add, is not a real subject. O-:)
Anyway, if you'll excuse me, I'll carry on singing inside.
We are the footsteps fading into the night
Nobody cares and nobody stares with such conviction
And I say
I never wanted this
No-one ever wanted this
Not entirely sure why, but those lyrics seem to sum me up right now.
I'm in one of the IT centres at college, I probably ought to do work at some point, but I'm blogging with Streetlight Manifesto on shuffle, and trying very very hard not to sing along; I don't want to get chucked out.
I'm feeling a lot happier than I have in a while, and definitely a lot happier than I did a week ago, on results day. I was sitting in this room (not at this computer, though) staring at my two B's, one C, and one E, fighting back the tears. I'm resitting two of the exams, one was so close to an A it doesn't really matter. And if I don't get As, I'm basically screwed.
Ah well, que sera sera.
Speaking of which, I have an information evening at some point to go to, to pick up French next year. Though I do know what I'm letting myself in for, I did learn the language for twelve bloody years...
There really is something I should probably be doing right now. Ah well. I'll look around aimlessly, and not let the depressing Kasabian that's just come on distract me. Ooh, there's traffic cones with bamboo sticks in over there, and bits of police tape (well, not quite, but the red and white striped equivalent) cordoning off about half this one of the IT centres for Media students. Which, might I add, is not a real subject. O-:)
Anyway, if you'll excuse me, I'll carry on singing inside.
Tuesday, 1 January 2008
Happy New Year, and all that jazz.
First of January today. Happy New Year, Bonne Année, Frohe Neu Jahr. It doesn't really matter how you say it, it's another new start.
For me, that means a hell of a lot of revision. For one thing, I need to get from a C in my mock to an A in my Chemistry module. It also means getting those extra couple of marks in Biology and Maths to get up to an A in that too. And for Physics? I don't know. It's interesting, but it's all circuits, and I don't like circuits. It's also a hell of a lot of work, which I can't seem to find the time to do. I'll go talk to Becky on Monday.
Jeez, Monday. Is it really that soon that I go back, and launch straight into modules? I have one for General Studies too, but that should be a breeze. You actually get marks for answering the questions, even though the whole exam is moot and doesn't get you into Uni.
Speaking of Uni, I'm awaiting a deluge of prospectuses. I sent off for one from almost every University offering Medicine in the entire country. I really ought to apologise to the postman. So far I've got them from Oxford, Cambridge, KCL and Glasgow. Glasgow seems surprisingly nice, the campus itself is beautiful, like somethough out of a fairytale. Though I've never been to the city, and I guess I can't base five years living in the same city with no chance of moving elsewhere just on a couple of pages in a prospectus.
Open days. That's another thing I need to remember. I think I need to register to get a place on the Medicine talks too. Hm.
But anyway, I'm going to try and not let my mass of modules get me down, or my slightly abysmal Time Management, or the fact that I'll be dropping one of the subjects I have most laughs in. It's a new year, and I'm going to make the most of it.
For me, that means a hell of a lot of revision. For one thing, I need to get from a C in my mock to an A in my Chemistry module. It also means getting those extra couple of marks in Biology and Maths to get up to an A in that too. And for Physics? I don't know. It's interesting, but it's all circuits, and I don't like circuits. It's also a hell of a lot of work, which I can't seem to find the time to do. I'll go talk to Becky on Monday.
Jeez, Monday. Is it really that soon that I go back, and launch straight into modules? I have one for General Studies too, but that should be a breeze. You actually get marks for answering the questions, even though the whole exam is moot and doesn't get you into Uni.
Speaking of Uni, I'm awaiting a deluge of prospectuses. I sent off for one from almost every University offering Medicine in the entire country. I really ought to apologise to the postman. So far I've got them from Oxford, Cambridge, KCL and Glasgow. Glasgow seems surprisingly nice, the campus itself is beautiful, like somethough out of a fairytale. Though I've never been to the city, and I guess I can't base five years living in the same city with no chance of moving elsewhere just on a couple of pages in a prospectus.
Open days. That's another thing I need to remember. I think I need to register to get a place on the Medicine talks too. Hm.
But anyway, I'm going to try and not let my mass of modules get me down, or my slightly abysmal Time Management, or the fact that I'll be dropping one of the subjects I have most laughs in. It's a new year, and I'm going to make the most of it.
Wednesday, 7 November 2007
[Insert witty post title here]
First things first.
Thank you everyone, for your gushing long comments. ¬_¬ I know this probably isn't the easiest thing to comment on, but it makes me feel someone reads this, which would be nice.
Right. Comment nag over. :)
I'm sat at home, trying to do my Physics coursework, but I keep getting distracted. By this, for example. I've got half an hour left today, and about six hours tomorrow in which to get both this, and all my other homework and coursework done. Oh, the joy I will have.
I've also got Open Evening today and tomorrow evenings. For four hours. Doing not a lot, in the Music department. God, I'll get bored.
I've been listening to some of my old CDs, and dug up the second Busted album. I was rather obsessed with them in my younger years, and they weren't that bad really. Though I can't find the first one. Which bugs me.
Anyway, I came a cross a song called 'Who's David'. As you may or may not be aware, I broke up with my boyfriend of about four or five months about a month ago, when he turned into an arrogant lying twat. It also turned out he'd been 'seeing' a girl from Manchester, who's a friend of mine, for about a month. This song sums up my feelings, really. And is very fun to sing very loudly when nobody's home, while jumping around your room with a hairbrush.
You've always been this way since high school
Flirtatious and quite loud
I find your sense of humour spiteful
It shouldn't make you proud
And I know your pretty face gets far with guys
But your make-up ain't enough to hide the lies
Are you sure that you're mine
Aren't you dating other guys
You're so cheap
And I'm not blind
You're not worthy of my time
Somebody saw, you sleep around the town
And I've got proof because the word's going around
(Don't know you)
You left your phone so I invaded
I hated what I saw
You stupid lying bitch, who's David?
Some guy who lives next door
So go live in the house of David if you like
But be sure he don't know Peter, John or Mike
Are you sure that you're mine
Aren't you dating other guys
You're so cheap
And I'm not blind
You're not worthy of my time
Somebody saw, you sleep around the town
And I've got proof because the word's going around
Don't know you
Do do do do woah
And I know that you try to break me into pieces
And I know that you lie but you can't hurt me now
I'm over you
Do do do do woah
Don't like you
Do do do do woah
Are you sure that you're mine
Aren't you dating other guys
You're so cheap
And I'm not blind
Your not worthy of my time
Somebody saw, you sleep around the town
And I've got proof because the word's going around (words going around)
Don't know you
Do do do woah
Don't like you
Do do do woah
Don't know you
Go look it up on YouTube if you still don't know it. Or, allow me to find it. :)
There, I hope that worked. Anyway, I'm sure you'll agree with me, if you turn it up very loud and know the words it's a fun song.
I think what sparked all this off is that I finally stuck him back on my MSN contacts list last night, having not spoken to him in over a month. I couldn't really remember how he was to talk to, and was worried this would upset me. But, his reluctance to say sorry for acting like a prick, combined with the fact that he refused to say anything remotely serious without ':P' on the end, made me feel quite happy I'm rid of him. I've grown up a lot since I started dating him, and evidently he hasn't.
Plus, I've got good friends I know I can always rely on, and his friends go out and get drunk with him in central London. Which I really don't see the point of. They don't talk to people they deem 'not cool' that much, which makes me wonder how real these friends are. I almost pity him. Almost.
Anyway, rant #2 over, and I'm royally screwed if he reads this. Ah well.
I'll go finish my coursework now, and do some more singing and silent karaoke.
Thank you everyone, for your gushing long comments. ¬_¬ I know this probably isn't the easiest thing to comment on, but it makes me feel someone reads this, which would be nice.
Right. Comment nag over. :)
I'm sat at home, trying to do my Physics coursework, but I keep getting distracted. By this, for example. I've got half an hour left today, and about six hours tomorrow in which to get both this, and all my other homework and coursework done. Oh, the joy I will have.
I've also got Open Evening today and tomorrow evenings. For four hours. Doing not a lot, in the Music department. God, I'll get bored.
I've been listening to some of my old CDs, and dug up the second Busted album. I was rather obsessed with them in my younger years, and they weren't that bad really. Though I can't find the first one. Which bugs me.
Anyway, I came a cross a song called 'Who's David'. As you may or may not be aware, I broke up with my boyfriend of about four or five months about a month ago, when he turned into an arrogant lying twat. It also turned out he'd been 'seeing' a girl from Manchester, who's a friend of mine, for about a month. This song sums up my feelings, really. And is very fun to sing very loudly when nobody's home, while jumping around your room with a hairbrush.
You've always been this way since high school
Flirtatious and quite loud
I find your sense of humour spiteful
It shouldn't make you proud
And I know your pretty face gets far with guys
But your make-up ain't enough to hide the lies
Are you sure that you're mine
Aren't you dating other guys
You're so cheap
And I'm not blind
You're not worthy of my time
Somebody saw, you sleep around the town
And I've got proof because the word's going around
(Don't know you)
You left your phone so I invaded
I hated what I saw
You stupid lying bitch, who's David?
Some guy who lives next door
So go live in the house of David if you like
But be sure he don't know Peter, John or Mike
Are you sure that you're mine
Aren't you dating other guys
You're so cheap
And I'm not blind
You're not worthy of my time
Somebody saw, you sleep around the town
And I've got proof because the word's going around
Don't know you
Do do do do woah
And I know that you try to break me into pieces
And I know that you lie but you can't hurt me now
I'm over you
Do do do do woah
Don't like you
Do do do do woah
Are you sure that you're mine
Aren't you dating other guys
You're so cheap
And I'm not blind
Your not worthy of my time
Somebody saw, you sleep around the town
And I've got proof because the word's going around (words going around)
Don't know you
Do do do woah
Don't like you
Do do do woah
Don't know you
Go look it up on YouTube if you still don't know it. Or, allow me to find it. :)
There, I hope that worked. Anyway, I'm sure you'll agree with me, if you turn it up very loud and know the words it's a fun song.
I think what sparked all this off is that I finally stuck him back on my MSN contacts list last night, having not spoken to him in over a month. I couldn't really remember how he was to talk to, and was worried this would upset me. But, his reluctance to say sorry for acting like a prick, combined with the fact that he refused to say anything remotely serious without ':P' on the end, made me feel quite happy I'm rid of him. I've grown up a lot since I started dating him, and evidently he hasn't.
Plus, I've got good friends I know I can always rely on, and his friends go out and get drunk with him in central London. Which I really don't see the point of. They don't talk to people they deem 'not cool' that much, which makes me wonder how real these friends are. I almost pity him. Almost.
Anyway, rant #2 over, and I'm royally screwed if he reads this. Ah well.
I'll go finish my coursework now, and do some more singing and silent karaoke.
Saturday, 3 November 2007
I'M ALIIIIIVE!
At least, I think I am.
I'm sorry, I've neglected you all. College has me rushed off my feet, I've got too much coursework to do.
I've got a ridiculous amount of Physics homework/coursework, which I should really be getting on with. But I'm snuggling up on the sofa with my laptop (which Dell finally got round to delivering a month ago) in my huuuuuge new Fox hoodie. It's black, and has silver patterns and black gothic writing on the front, and it's very very warm. All I need now is to fill my mega-rainbow-mug with hot chocolate, and sink back with my fleecey blanket and a girly movie. Ahhh, paradise.
I've got my first pair of real Converse too. They're just plain black ones, with white stitching, which I might colour black if I don't like it, but they keep my ankles warm, which is what i need, coz it's getting cold here. If you hadn't noticed. Which, if you live in Australia or NZ or somewhere hot, you probably won't have. Hm. There's an idea for a gap year or something. Anyway. Yes. Where was I?
Right, I've got a copy of todays Times in front of me, I'm reading the supplement, as I do, and there are a few rather good quotes.
"If he wanted natural, he shouldn't have married me."
~ Katie Price, on her husband Peter Andre's preference for her real shape.
"This is not a drug, it's a leaf."
~Arnold Schwarzenegger, on marijuana.
I'll be back. Yarly.
I'm sorry, I've neglected you all. College has me rushed off my feet, I've got too much coursework to do.
I've got a ridiculous amount of Physics homework/coursework, which I should really be getting on with. But I'm snuggling up on the sofa with my laptop (which Dell finally got round to delivering a month ago) in my huuuuuge new Fox hoodie. It's black, and has silver patterns and black gothic writing on the front, and it's very very warm. All I need now is to fill my mega-rainbow-mug with hot chocolate, and sink back with my fleecey blanket and a girly movie. Ahhh, paradise.
I've got my first pair of real Converse too. They're just plain black ones, with white stitching, which I might colour black if I don't like it, but they keep my ankles warm, which is what i need, coz it's getting cold here. If you hadn't noticed. Which, if you live in Australia or NZ or somewhere hot, you probably won't have. Hm. There's an idea for a gap year or something. Anyway. Yes. Where was I?
Right, I've got a copy of todays Times in front of me, I'm reading the supplement, as I do, and there are a few rather good quotes.
"If he wanted natural, he shouldn't have married me."
~ Katie Price, on her husband Peter Andre's preference for her real shape.
"This is not a drug, it's a leaf."
~Arnold Schwarzenegger, on marijuana.
I'll be back. Yarly.
Monday, 24 September 2007
I know it's been forever...
...but I'm sorry I've neglected you all. I've been snowed under with homework. Literally. My physics homework takes the full weekend, then I've got a maths self-study unit due in for tomorrow (yeeks) and some biology sheets I didn't get round to doing at eleven last night. I got lectured about that by my teacher in my lesson today. God, why do teachers always think their subject is the shizzle, and no other one gets a look in?
Music rocked, though. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Our theory lesson turned into a discussion of necrophilia, lesbian porn, songs about everyone sung by a girl who was high at the time, the restyling of one of the boys, the discussion of what everyone's wearing to Fresher's party, and the sign-language version of the Twelve Days of Christmas. Five Gold Rings is actually wrong beyond belief.
Our normal teacher was away with the Music Scholars at the RAM, so we had one of the other music staff, who is very easy to wind up. Oh, it was brilliant.
And I have two early finishes this week. W00t.
Music rocked, though. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Our theory lesson turned into a discussion of necrophilia, lesbian porn, songs about everyone sung by a girl who was high at the time, the restyling of one of the boys, the discussion of what everyone's wearing to Fresher's party, and the sign-language version of the Twelve Days of Christmas. Five Gold Rings is actually wrong beyond belief.
Our normal teacher was away with the Music Scholars at the RAM, so we had one of the other music staff, who is very easy to wind up. Oh, it was brilliant.
And I have two early finishes this week. W00t.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
